Hats Off to Finding Yourself

Do you know someone who looks good in hats? Maybe it’s you. I admire those people who can naturally look good in any type of hat. It can be a stylish summer straw hat, baseball cap, or a winter knit… they just look good in hats. My daughter is one of those people, but I am not. I have finally given up wearing hats except in extremely cold weather out of necessity!

However, even as I refine my fashion dos and don’ts, I still find myself wearing invisible hats every day - the leader, the caretaker, the planner, the peacemaker, the doer. Some of these hats I have put on myself. I wear them out of love, fear, or necessity. Others have been given to me, and they don’t always fit well. Yet I keep wearing them.

Wearing many hats might make us feel accomplished at times. But it can also leave us feeling disconnected with a confused identity. Which hat am I wearing now, and which one should I have on?

Here’s the truth: just because we can do it all, that doesn’t mean we should (I know my perfectionists out there need to hear this doubly!). What if you could choose your hat wardrobe instead of continually putting on the hats you’ve grown out of or never looked good in from the start?

After you have paused to consider the various hats you wear in life, ask yourself:

• Which hats am I wearing out of expectation?

• Which ones energize me, and which ones deplete me?

• What would it feel like to take one off, even just for today?

• Do I really need or want to wear all these hats!?

Mark Twain is attributed with the saying, “Clothes make the man.” The hats you choose to wear, as they weigh on you, begin to feel more and more like they define who you are. Have you lost your identity and true self? You are more than the hats you wear. You are not the sum of your responsibilities—you are the soul underneath them.

Removing a hat or two can stir up anxiety and uncertainty, especially if you’ve worn that hat for a long time. It can be frightening to think about who you are when that role falls away. Realigning your identity with your values and passions creates space to reconnect with the part of you that exists beyond the doing—the being.

Coaching can support you through this process by offering a safe space to explore who you are beneath the hats you wear. It helps you untangle your identity from your responsibilities and reconnect with what truly matters to you. Through guided reflection and intentional action, coaching empowers you to navigate your hats with a renewed sense of self.

This isn’t about abandoning your responsibilities. It’s about rediscovering your wholeness within them. If you're feeling the nudge to reconnect with who you are underneath all your hats, coaching might be the next right step. Let’s try on your hats together.

Coach Through Your Wardrobe